Teaching Tinkering

 

An undergraduate at Anna Malai University, Murty was quite conceited and piqued himself on his knowledge of English. Incessantly, he was used to deliver lectures to the brats of his class on this language. Little by little, this ambitious graduate prevailed and made a figure as a persuasive speaker. One day, he was aghast to find his name figured in the list of English teachers selected to teach the all-important English. After seeking out the instructions from the lecturer of his college, he asked him why he had been chosen!?0h, came the flat reply! They might have clues about my passion. Maybe it will be so useful when it comes to arguing with the students. moreover, I was well adept, and decidedly they must have grasped something out of it.

The Dean, in a low tone, started explaining the taught the conduct expected from them, "We have fixed up a garret upstairs, and you are urged not to loiter around, barring your classroom. The stuff will be sent down to you in your class". And he retired.

It was a million-dollar prestige issue to negate the offer for Murty. To teach this foreign subject with utmost fragility and agility was another challenge. Any sort of omission or commission may bury his status without any warranty, and may also engrave an indelible blerimsh on his spotless career. To salvage his forte was his prime motto, not dampening his speaker's image. But he was a Superbrat and tough to give up this defiant task. He reclined in a chair in his room, plunging himself into language books. Thoroughly, he made himself abreast of what he felt was difficult. Umpteen times he rehearsed the topic to be picked for tutelage, rummaged through several book pages, dog-eared a few, kept open for reference, and lastly he summed up to select "Grammar". Grammar is the core and perfect study of any prose or treatise, he admonished.

With lively delight, he approached the classroom. "So, my boys, I will deduce and dissect the Grammar. Before I proceed, I am wishful to know how much you are aware of the paramount grandeur of this concept? "Will you please try Mr. Raju Sir? Noun, pronoun, verb, adverb, and tenses are called grammar", replied Raju presently with no second deliberation with a plausible smile. He coined English is nothing but a colossal jargon, an unravelled enigma Murty was quite pleased and deduced that the student was right. But the befitting answer, as manifested, is a chapter that gives the art of speaking and writing a language correctly. "Grammar is like a puzzle, without the cheatsheet!" To simplify it, he said, "It is a term which renders an apt usage of a particular Language. "But. Michael was reluctant to accept this dictum; he butted in, "Sir, what is meant by particular, is it called for English exclusively or pertains to other languages too?"Murty was flabbergasted and puzzled. How he slipped. He sensed himself in a tight corner, what to do? If he refutes, he has to justify with concrete illustrations. If he adheres to then he has to be financial. This uncalled-for question troubled him and his pomp, he responded to Michael's query and said with valour Yes, it is for English only. "But, Sir, in every language Grammar plays a stellar role, is English alien to all languages?" asked Kiran swiftly. These Intrüders, inroad again, put Murty in a Whirlpool of the deep ocean. His faculties of nerve seemed inane, his wit ordained him that it is easier to be taught than to teach any, teaching is not all a bed of roses. But his inner heart was in a mess, full of turbulence for not to stray from this opportunity. He regained his courage, wiped out his sweating face, and bounced back. Yes, in every language grammar exists, but in English it is of an unusual nature," said he in a single breath. After this bold answer, silence prevailed. This soothing atmosphere paved the way for Murty to inflate his impetus manifold. He picked up a chalkpiece and wrote down on the blackboard "Now I will take 'Gerund", Gerund is an English verbal noun. Certain words act both as nouns as well as verbs. At once Chandu stood up and enquired, "Sir, you were talking about Grammar. Is it over by now? Murty nodded his head without inviting any further upheavals. He at once continued, "Gerund is that form of verb which ends in-ing and has the force of a noun and a verb, like doing, playing, swimming, etc.

Excuse me, Sir, we are told that if a suffix like "ing is used in a verb in a sentence, it becomes the continuous form of tense as present continuous. past and perfect continuous tenses. Isn't this gerund ambiguous? moreover, it is complicated too, then why is it so designed, sir? asked Kale innocently. Murty was extempore for Kales. Why! How to win over undauntedly and gratiate him again fomented perturbation. He appeared as a hoodwink in front of innocuous guys, his sermons started a hubbub in that class, and his wisdom turned flaccid. His flaming of English made his sinews numb. He posed to be benighted so far as that subject concerned. His bizarre nerve counseled him to pack up. And at the spur of that turmoil bell rang as by God's decree. And Murty tasted a sigh of relief, hurriedly he stepped out of the classroom, chanting "Hosanna in an inaudible voice, thanked God for His compassion, and his Survival. Since then, this animation ceased, and he never applied his prudence to such enterprises.

NATIONAL LANGUAGE JARGON

 

I was on a deputation on my way to Hyderabad. As usual, I reached the railway station and

entered a Train, and reached my allotted berth. I was provided a seat by other fellow

 passengers in a coupe. The travails of travel in IInd class, that too, when you are venturing

in a hot summer, are not foreign to everyone. It needs no further description.

I found myself in a coupe containing eight people. I took a vacant seat meant for me between

 a woman dressed in handsome furs, fanning all the time with the help of that day’s

news issue to get rid of unendurable heat. A gentleman whom I took to be her husband

 sat next to her while other men occupied the coupe were not akin to each other. These

people have supposedly been in the bogie for quite a long time, this I deduced after viewing

their topsy-turvy outfits and gestures of exchanging edibles. It appeared all the inhabitants

were well familiarised with everyone. The atmosphere seemed charged with discussion right

from the bottom of sinister education, our government. Administration, food, price rise

and at last our hapless National language. I was vaguely sensible of having broken in

upon a symposium which was uninterrupted.

As the train gathered speed, the wind, which was blowing from the east, raised the volume of

senseless babble. Pardon me for using such harsh words as senseless. It is my unbiased opinion

 that none of these speakers can do anything except expose their one-upmanship

here. This augmentation animated the other inorganic clowns. Now this garrulous gag

again centred around the “National Language”. One passenger, occupying the next seat,

pointed" We should revoke Hindi in toto and English must be adopted as the mainstay language.

The lady also nodded her head in concurrence and said, " Well, you see English is so charming and

fascinating that other language looks stale and lifeless. Moreover, it has commanding and

 improving properties of the status quo".

This doctrine irritated the other gentry, who could be believed as a propagator of Hindi said in

disgust, " It is the people like you who brought this Hindi language to such a forgotten stature,

You are the antagonists, who feel pride in wearing the borrowed garments.

You are the factors who made this language intangible. You are ....

" Just a minute ". The lady abruptly interrupted with her lips tight pressed and nostrils

swelled with battle (said)" You are right of course, gentleman, but before you pounce upon

us you know the dictum of preservers of this language?, With unabated zeal, they pronounce

in public that Hindi is our "Matrubhasha". A nation without its own language of conversation

is just like a vehicle without a steering wheel. That Hindi is one of the easiest and best languages,

Stating instances that once one Soviet leader asked Nehru to speak in Hindi than English and

 so on. and so forth. She continued When these so called leaders know the paramount

importance and its grandeur, then why they send their wards to study in English convents,

nurture English tradition so that he or she may be rated as well off in education '. Above all

these parliamentarians never hesitate to address the masses, the guileless in English, the

necessity of National Language". If you can tame them then gentleman, you will not need

any megaphone to imbibe this in every parson of our country ". This long and to the point

sermon made that elite passenger spellbound; he never dreampt so easy and lucid a reply

 to his language jargon. From a lady who, with her sharp tongue, was ready to combat by

hook or by crook, to her adherence. The man galloped from the arena without any fuss.

The lady's triumph inflated tenfold. Tranquility prevailed till a sudden commotion, all

My eyes turned towards the crowded stampede, and I noticed a familiar voice at every railway station

Chay bolo chay coming through the windows. Till now, I was a silent onlooker from inside and

outside. Her latter part of speech evoked my eyebrows. I was forced to be engrossed and

attentive to all her contents, which illuminated my darkness. When I got down from the train, the seeds of compassion already activated my veins to ponder over the languidness of the age-old

" National Language ". My piping hot notion of English chilled altogether from that moment.